I want to keep things simple. I want to enjoy the time I have with my children and my husband.
I want to be able to say YES.
When it really matters.
When does it matter for me? When the kiddos need a little extra love.
When Husband needs help with a tough decision.
When a friend needs an ear or a shoulder. When a neighbor needs a hand.
When God chooses me. When He tells me GO.
Man oh man do I still grumble about it a lot from time to time. Even when I have made time, the selfish, ugly bits make all kinds of excuses for why I shouldn’t then have to give it away. IT’S MINE! I scream it so loudly the inside of my brain is throbbing with the reverberation.
But at the end of it all, when the two year old temper tantrum is finished, I am left standing with a choice. I can focus inward or outward. My choice changes frequently. There are many times when I truly need to focus inward, take care of my own soul, in order to have the strength to care for others’. And then there are the times when I know what needs to be done. No amount of whining will change it.
So I put on my big girl pants and wrap my time in a cute package with a frilly ribbon, and I give it away.
And that, friends, is my treasure. A blessing beyond description. Never to be stolen. Stored in heaven, with no regrets. Not a single one.