"Hello! It's me, Joe. Congratulations! You are grandparents now!"
"Yes, Mary is fine.... A boy. Yes, he's fine. You might say everyone is in stable condition.”
"No, no, we weren't alone. Shepherds came over. They were watching their flocks by night."
"Laundry? What? ... No, they were watching. Their. Flocks. Not washing their socks. I'm stepping over by the door, maybe get a better signal."
"Right. Uh huh. The shepherds said that angels told them to come here to Bethlehem. Right, angels.... No, I said, ‘right, angels,' not right angles. Like in this song....”
Song: #5 ANGELS WE HAVE HEARD ON HIGH
Song: #8 HARK, THE HERALD ANGELS SING
"Yes. Mary is happy, she's fine. She would be finer if the kid next door would stop playing that drum, RUM-pa-pum-pum, RUM-pa-pum-pum, all night long."
"Now, we talked about this. The baby's name will be 'Jesus', Jehovah Saves. Right, I know, people will think he's Mexican, but what's wrong with that?"
"Uh huh. Um. Well, uh, we had to improvise. He is in a manger.... Yes, that kind of manger.... Not a problem, they are lowing. You know, moooo. Moooo-woo-woo-woo. Jesus likes the manger. Jesus likes the cows. Jesus likes everyone."
Song: #23 AWAY IN A MANGER
"Dad, thanks, but we are in great shape financially. These Magi came by.... No not Jedi, Magi. Yeah, maybe they are related."
"The Magi gave Jesus a box full of gold. They also gave him a box full of frankincense.... Ha, no, not Frankensteen, frankincense."
"Then they gave him myrrh.... No, the myrrh was not in a box. It was in a can. They called it, "A. MYRRH. CAN.”
"No, I didn't get it. Jesus got it.... Yes sir, we have the best-smelling baby in Bethlehem."
"The Magi keep calling me 'Moose.' I tell them, my name is Joseph. But the big one insists, [Arabic accent] 'Tonight, you are Moose!' When they are leaving, the big one turns around and holds up his finger. He points at my wife. Then at the baby. Then at me. He shouts, ‘MARY! CHRIST! MOOSE! Ho ho ho!'"
"Me neither.... Yeah, wise guys for sure."
"After that excitement, we could use a silent night... Right. I hope we'll be home soon, but I just can't tell.... Uh-huh... We love you! Bye."
That’s the news from Bethlehem: Where all the shepherds praise God, all the wise men bring gifts, and Jesus has come to save the world.