I have a suspicion my mom looks less forward to them, although she's never said it. But because the Lousville Courier doesn't publish Dave's articles, I have a Hobbit, ur, habit, of calling and reading her the whole thing every year. It's assumed the stature of a ritual at this point.
So, for your amusement, here is the opening of this year's article in the Washington Post magazine (29 December). You'll have to read the rest of it yourself.
'Cause you're not my mommy.
What a Cliffhanger of a Year, by Dave Barry:
It was a cruel, cruel year--a year that kept raising our hopes, only to squash them flatter than a dead possum on the interstate (Interjection here: it's clear to me that Mr. Barry does, in fact, watch The Surge messages on line--it had to be this photo, which appeared on a slide we used just a few weeks ago, that led him to his choice of a word picture.)
Example: This year the "reality" show "Jersey Shore," which for six hideous seasons has been a compelling argument in favor of a major Earth-asteroid collision, finally got canceled, and we dared to wonder if maybe, just maybe, we, as a society were becoming slight less stupid.
But then, WHAP, we were slapped in our national face by the cold hard frozen mackerel of reality in the form of the hugely popular new "reality" show "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo,", which, in terms of intellectual content, makes "Jersey Shore" look like "Hamlet."
Another example: As the year began, the hottest recording artist was the brilliant singer-songwriter Adele, whose popularity made us think that maybe, just maybe, after years of rewarding overhyped auto-tuned dreck, we were finally developing more sophisticated musical tastes, and then. . .
WHAP, we were assaulted from all sides by the monster megahit video "Gangnam Style," in which a Korean man prances around a variety of bizarre Korean settings riding an imaginary Korean horse and shouting a song that, except for the words "Eh, sexy lady," is entirely in Korean. It was that kind of year. Remember back in 2011, when the big sex scandal involved Anthony Weiner, the ferret-like congressperson who committed political suicide by tweet? We all thought, "Oh, well, another Washington politician who wants to regulate everything except his own personal ding-dong. At least there are SOME institutions, such as the Secret Service, the CIA and the Army, where males in positions of responsibility can control their. . .
Did anything good come out of 2012? Maybe, Just maybe. Consider: For years now, Washington has been paralyzed by bitterly partisan gridlock, unable and unwilling to act in the face of a looming, potentially disastrous economic crisis. But this year, we, the people, finally did something about it. We went to the polls, and we made our decision. Which is why now, as the year ends, we can look forward to a future in which Washington is. . .